Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Catharctic Moving Experiences

So here I am packing up all the rest of our earthly belongings, wondering how in just 11 short years I've accumulated so much stuff!! It's rather catharctic though - going through all of it and deciding what to keep, what to trash, what to donate/sell. There's a lot of memories in these boxes. I had a complete melt down going through old cards and letters - being a pack rat I had saved pretty much everything everyone has ever sent me. I guess I thought that I might go through them when I needed a lift, remembering all the good times I had with friends and family. The thing is though - it's only at moving time that these boxes ever get opened. And they often result in meltdowns like the one I had last night instead of a laugh and a smile - as I reopen cards and letters from my mom who died 4 years ago from Chronic Lymphocitic Leukemia, reminding me that she's no longer here to send me any....and that she won't be here for my wedding. (Hmmm, some residual grief you think?) Some of these boxes have been moved from place to place still closed with their original packing tape from decades ago.

Christine Kane would encourage me to unclutter, to "Lose the Crap." And I am trying to tackle it - I already do feel lighter from the things that I have gotten up the courage to toss but know I have lots more work to do. In addition to the blockages I've created to my energy flow by holding onto every little thing that once meant something to me, Ghent is a little town, we have a little house, with tiny closets and a damp country basement where things mold. So there's not much of an option for me but to face it head on and throw away the things I no longer need....like all those pay stubs from every job I ever held, like letters from old boyfriends, like Christmas cards from years and years and years.

Ironically, I am also packing up our library at the same time. And coming across great books like "The Art of Imperfection" by Veronique Vienna and Erica Lennard "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, "The Celestine Prophesy" by James Redfield and a whole row of spiritual and self-help books David must have added to the collection when I wasn't looking that I didn't even know we had! So I read a few pages, repack a few boxes, throw some of the "crap" away, cry and read more pages. On my list to get and read soon is "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston as recommended in Christine Kane's Creating Order blog. I believe that all this stuff is sucking out my energy and once I can be brave enough to clear it out of my life, I will be better able to move on.

So far, one large box marked Tag Sale, 3 overflowing garbage bags and 20 boxes ready for storage. At this rate, I may never get this all done in time to be ready for the movers on July 25th but one step at a time, little by little gaining energy by clearing the past to make way for the present.


Kathy said...

Ok - I've found a great way to make this easier. An industrial strength shredder! I've filled three large black garbage bags so far. Mostly old statements and stuff but I've got my eye on those old boyfriend letters!!

ChristineKane said...

Christine Kane would ALSO advise you to recognize that you're making an enormous shift in your life and in your world by A] moving and B] getting married. Those are life-altering events. It's hard to toss things out when you're NOT under stress. It's even worse when you ARE. (even good stress!) Be kind to yourself, okay? Be really really compassionate and cry all you want. And don't think for a minute that I didn't have major emotional stuff when I went through this same process. (that's why having a coach was so good! the objective kind voice.) You're doing great! And it'll be worth it, I promise!

ChristineKane said...

And please oh please...old boyfriend letters? Can I just team up with David and say a big... Hello??? You're getting married! You can let go of the old boyfriend letters! (especially if any of them are from my brother!)