Sunday, June 20, 2010

Appreciating Every Moment

It's a glorious morning and I am once again sitting on Our Back Deck with Islay Bear. Relaxing, enjoying the view, healing. I walked the property this am to snap a few pictures of the wild flowers growing like crazy this year before David gets on the mower and cuts them down. The clover is just spectacular and attracting all sorts of bees and other insects to it. The small yellow butter cups and purple wild flowers are everywhere. There are major patches of wild thyme and wild black raspberries in places they've never been before. And all growing back after their hard winter. And I'm sure they will all grow back again stronger than ever after their pending "hair cut."

I feel some solidarity with them! It feels kind of like my comeback too. I am feeling better and better after surgery on Tuesday - a little discomfort still but I'm not even needing the CVS frozen pea ice packs anymore. Clever person who came up with that idea so we don't all have to use/waste real frozen peas anymore to get that perfectly molded ice pack.

My angels are all pampering me, not letting me lift or bend so as not to disturb the healing or stitches. Xiomara came this weekend to give David a break so he could work the Hudson-Chatham Winery tasting room for the Father's Day event. She was a whirlwind! Helping me do laundry, weeding the herb garden, sweeping the floors, tidying the rooms, scrubbing the stove, keeping me company and making the most delicious chicken and black bean dish for dinner.

I'm not even feeling the least bit nervous about the pathology results coming next week. I know they will show clear margins and no node involvement. And many of you have said your gut is telling you the same. It is a new normal after being diagnosed with cancer and I still have the radiation treatments to go through but I feel that the worst is behind me and celebrating every moment more than ever now. I could dwell on the "why me," be scared about surprises next week, or the knowledge that I am now higher risk for other bad stuff for the rest of my life but that won't serve me as well as being so thankful for all the things I have right here, right now. Like the beautiful wild flowers and black raspberries, my husband, my dog, my loving friends. This moment is the best of all!


Ruth Briggs said...

Hi Kathy,

Sandra told us today of your surgery. From your blog, it sounds as if things are on track. We wish you a speedy, complete recovery!

Aunt Ruth & Fritz

Kathy said...

Hi Ruth - yes things are on track! I am feeling better and back to "normal" (whatever that means anymore!) Thanks for reaching out. I have added your email to my update list.

Diane Topkis said...

Kath, you have such an amazing property for healing, so spiritual with the lake and sunsets. Couple that with your positive outlook, I have no doubt, your recovery will be fast.

I loved your pics of wildflowers. I used to run out and get wild violets from the grass before it was mowed. After missing a few too many times, I moved some to my garden bed which everyone thought was crazy since they spread so quickly. But it's all in your perspective - I saw them as free flowers plus they reminded my of my grandma who loved violets. I even potted some up for the balcony of our new apartment.