Sunday, June 20, 2010
Appreciating Every Moment
It's a glorious morning and I am once again sitting on Our Back Deck with Islay Bear. Relaxing, enjoying the view, healing. I walked the property this am to snap a few pictures of the wild flowers growing like crazy this year before David gets on the mower and cuts them down. The clover is just spectacular and attracting all sorts of bees and other insects to it. The small yellow butter cups and purple wild flowers are everywhere. There are major patches of wild thyme and wild black raspberries in places they've never been before. And all growing back after their hard winter. And I'm sure they will all grow back again stronger than ever after their pending "hair cut."
I feel some solidarity with them! It feels kind of like my comeback too. I am feeling better and better after surgery on Tuesday - a little discomfort still but I'm not even needing the CVS frozen pea ice packs anymore. Clever person who came up with that idea so we don't all have to use/waste real frozen peas anymore to get that perfectly molded ice pack.
My angels are all pampering me, not letting me lift or bend so as not to disturb the healing or stitches. Xiomara came this weekend to give David a break so he could work the Hudson-Chatham Winery tasting room for the Father's Day event. She was a whirlwind! Helping me do laundry, weeding the herb garden, sweeping the floors, tidying the rooms, scrubbing the stove, keeping me company and making the most delicious chicken and black bean dish for dinner.
I'm not even feeling the least bit nervous about the pathology results coming next week. I know they will show clear margins and no node involvement. And many of you have said your gut is telling you the same. It is a new normal after being diagnosed with cancer and I still have the radiation treatments to go through but I feel that the worst is behind me and celebrating every moment more than ever now. I could dwell on the "why me," be scared about surprises next week, or the knowledge that I am now higher risk for other bad stuff for the rest of my life but that won't serve me as well as being so thankful for all the things I have right here, right now. Like the beautiful wild flowers and black raspberries, my husband, my dog, my loving friends. This moment is the best of all!