Discovering me

The Upword of last week, designated as such by Lori Koop, was DISCOVER. One of the most important things I discovered was that keeping up with my weekly Upword posts every Saturday is sometimes not going to be possible! And I'm letting myself off the hook for it. My ongoing promise to my readers is to TRY to share my reflections on the word of the week each week but if I don't get to it I'm ok with that.

Discover turned out to be a very poignant word for me this past week. As I am in the middle of job change, there is a lot of self discovery going on, a lot of discussions about jobs, a lot of thinking about what I do and don't want out this next position, a lot of going deep inside to feel my feelings about it all. And being halfway through Christine Kane's Uplevel Your Life program, I was also reconsidering my intention and where I'm putting my attention.

As a 7 on the Enneagram, I am driven to do, to fill my time/brain with lots of things to focus on so that I don't have time to feel the feelings from the last thing because I'm on to the next one. With the help of my coach Tonya Leigh Williams, I decided my discovery question for myself last week was "what happens if I completely focus my attention on whatever I am doing?"

For instance, would I discover that I have time to feel my own feelings? Would I realize that I'm full and be more mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth when I'm not opening mail at the same time or looking at a magazine? Would I discover that I get more writing done if I don't just try to fit it in between all the other things I am doing but really schedule time for it and focus on it? Would I be able to be more present to my sisters and my husband and whoever I am on the phone with if I am not constantly checking twitter and facebook?

The answer is a resounding YES! It's amazing what putting my attention to the present moment can do. I did eat less, I did write more, I did more fully connect with the people I was interacting with in person or on the phone. It did leave time to feel the feelings when I wasn't distracted about what was coming next.

I wasn't able to tweet or blog or facebook as much but I was able to catch up on all of that when I wasn't otherwise occupied. And I discovered that it was ok. In fact, it was great! To put the attention where I am right then and feel those feelings - not just go through the motions of the activity or the interaction thinking about other things.

So thanks again Lori for Upword. Now that this post is up, I'm already starting to muse about this week's word....COMPELLING.